The Simpsons

When Smithers goes on vacation, Homer temporarily takes his place...

Homer: "Here are your messages, Mr. Burns. You have thirty minutes to move your car. You have ten minutes. Your car has been impounded. Your car has been crushed into a cube. You have thirty minutes to move your cube. [phone rings] Hello? Mr. Burns' office?"
Mr. Burns: "Is it about my cube?"

Bart: "Are you guys stealing?"
Jimbo: "four-finger discount, dude."
Nelson: "Shoplifting is a victimless crime. Like punching someone in the dark."

Krusty the Klown: "Kent, a lot of people think that comedy is dirty words. It's not. It's words that sound dirty. Like muckluck. You like that? Muckluck. No charge."

(The Last Temptation of Homer)
Smithers: Someone is charging room service to the company, sir.
Burns: Well, we'll just see about that. [Releases winged monkeys] Fly, my pretties, fly!
[Monkeys walk to the window and plummet to their death]
Burns: *Sigh* Continue the research.

And another one:

(Marge vs. the Monorail)
Marge: Homer, I brought someone who can help.
Homer: Batman?
Marge: No. He's a scientist.
Homer: Batman's a scientist?
Marge: It's not Batman!

Lol!!

Moe: "So, let's say you pull a thorn outa the pope's butt, and he gives you one wish. What would you wish for?"
Lenny: "You know, I always wondered what it would feel like to wear something that's been ironed."
All: "Oooh."
Moe: "I was gunna say a night with Joey Heatherton. But, wow! An ironed shirt!"

Moe: "I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt. I mean, not that fancy store-bought dirt. That stuff's loaded with nutrients. I... I can't compete with that stuff"

FYI - For those of you who have been holding off on getting some of the Boxed Sets - Amazon has season one on sale for only 14.99.

See the post I created called "Sale at Amazon - DVD Boxed Sets TV SHOWS".

Enjoy.

Legs: "Hey, I heard there's a lunar eclipse tonight. Maybe we should look up."
Other gangster: "Nah. For me, it's solar or nothin'"

After my Sox won... I got thinking about this episode

Well Mr.Burns had done it.
The Power Plant had won it.
With Roger Clemens clucking all the while,
Mike Socia's tragic illness made us smile,
While Wade Boggs laid unconscious on the bar-room tile.

Chorus:
We're talking softball.
From Maine to San Diego.
Talking softball, Manningly and Conseco,
Ken Griffy's grotesquely swollen jaw
Steve Sax and his run-in with the law,
We're talking Homer.....Ozzy and the Straw.

Originally posted by Phlabibit
After my Sox won... I got thinking about this episode

Well Mr.Burns had done it.
The Power Plant had won it.
With Roger Clemens clucking all the while,
Mike Socia's tragic illness made us smile,
While Wade Boggs laid unconscious on the bar-room tile.

Chorus:
We're talking softball.
From Maine to San Diego.
Talking softball, Manningly and Co ...[text shortened]... llen jaw
Steve Sax and his run-in with the law,
We're talking Homer.....Ozzy and the Straw.

Originally posted by D43M0N
Heheh...that was one last night here!

And now, a long overdue tribute to Homer's singing:

"Dancing away my hunger pains
Movin' my feet so my stomache won't hurt
I'm kinda like Jesus
But not in a sacreligious way."

"I've been sittin' on the toilet
All the live-long day..."

"If you have a rib-eye steak
You must floss it
Now floss it!
Floss it good!"

"Now, lets give it up for table five!
Ah, ah, ah, ah, table five, table five
Ah, ah, ah, ah, table Fi-i-i-i-i-ve."

"Mono... Do'h!"

Moe [a bird starts pecking him in the face]: "Ow! Not the face! [bird starts pecking him in the crotch] Ooh! Ok, the face! [bird resumes pecking him in the face] Ah! That actually feels good after the crotch."

I like pizza
I like bagels
I like hot dogs with mustard and beer
I'll eat eggplant
I could even eat a baby deer
la-la-la-la-la
Who's that baby deer on the lawn....

Eddie: Do you hold a grudge against Montgomery Burns?

Moe: No! *buzz* Alright, maybe I did, but I didn't shoot him. *ding*

Eddie: Checks out. Okay, sir, you're free to go.

Moe: Good, 'cause I got a hot date tonight. *buzz* A date. *buzz* Dinner with a friend. *buzz* Dinner alone. *buzz* Watching TV alone. *buzz* Alright! I'm going to sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalog. *buzz* Sears catalog. *ding* Now would you unhook this already, please! I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment! *buzz*