The Simpsons

Krabaple: "Seymore, you've skimped on everything; salaries, supplies, the food. [takes a bite] I don't care what you say, I can taste the newspaper."
Skinner: "Balderdash! Old newspapers provide much-needed roughage and essential inks. Besides, you didn't notice the old gym mats."
Lunchlady Doris: "There's very little meat in these gym mats."

Grandpa: "That doll is evil, I tells ya. Eeeeeeeevil!"
Marge: "Grandpa, you said that about every gift."
Grandpa: "I just want attention."

Nothing like a depressant to wash away the blues.