The Simpsons

Originally posted by CK

Marge: Now the cat needs his medication...
Homer: No problem...
Marge: ... every morning and the furnace has been putting off...
Homer: Can do. Right. Uh-huh.
Marge: ... a lot of carbon monoxide, so keep the window open.
Homer: Gotcha. Cat in the furnace.
Marge: Ah, you know, I think we'll take Maggie with us.

Homer: "Marge, can't we get some clear plates? I can't see the TV!"
Marge: "Do we really have to eat in front of the TV? We're getting food all over."
Bart: "If you really wanted us to eat neater, you'd feed us out of one long bowl."
Marge: "You're talking about a trough. This family is not eating out of a trough! And another thing; it's only five-thirty. Why are you in your underwear?"
Bart: "Hey, this 'aint the Ritz."
........
Marge: "I'm going into the dining room to have a conversation. Anyone who wants to join me is welcome." (brings her plate into the other room)
Marge: "Hello, Marge. How's the family? I don't want to talk about it. Mind your own business."
Homer: "Keep it down in there, everybody!"

Homer J. Simpson:

"Trying is the first step towards failure"

Quality

The episode where Bart wins an elephant. The family are in search of Bart in a muddy park when they crash into a statue of a deer.

Homer: "DOH!"

Marge: "A DEER!"

Lisa: "A FEMALE DEER!"

Start of an episode. Homer singing:
(Flinstones style - may not be entirely accurate!)

Simpson, Homer Simpson
He's the greatest guy you'll ever meet

From the town of Springfield
He's about to hit a chestnut tree

(bang) DOOOHHH!!!

How the heck did you get the name Gobsh1te? I can guess...don't tell me🙂

How about when Marge paints that portrait of Mister Burns...she unveils it and talks about Mr Burns, blah blah blah...then
Mrs Hoover: He's bad, but he'll die. So I like it.

Originally posted by gobsh1te
The episode where Bart wins an elephant. The family are in search of Bart in a muddy park when they crash into a statue of a deer.

Homer: "DOH!"

Marge: "A DEER!"

Lisa: "A FEMALE DEER!"

btw Gobsh1te, use the edit button. It works, you know😀😉😛😉😀

Originally posted by gobsh1te
Start of an episode. Homer singing:
(Flinstones style - may not be entirely accurate!)

Simpson, Homer Simpson
He's the greatest guy you'll ever meet

From the town of Springfield
He's about to hit a chestnut tree

(bang) DOOOHHH!!!

Homer: I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over 50, and if its SPEED changed, it would explode! I think it was called, 'The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down.'


Homer: Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'sir' without adding, 'you're making a scene

🙂

Homer: I don't want to look like a freak! I'll take the mumu.

Bart: "Hey, Grandpa, we need to know your first name."
Grandpa: (gasp) "You're making my tombstone!"
.....
Grandpa: "Let's see...First name... Well, whenever I'm confused, I just check my underwear. It holds the answers to all the important questions in life. Just call me... Abraham Simpson."
Lisa: "Grandpa, how did you take off your underwear without taking off your pants?"
Grandpa: "I don't know..."

This one just might be my favorite:
Comic book guy: "Yes, finally. I would like a refund for your quote unquote belt."
Storekeeper: "I see. Do you have a receipt, quote unquote sir?"
Comic book guy: "No I do not. I won it as a door prize at the Star Trek convnetion, although I find their choice of prize highly illogical, as the average Trekker has no use for a medium size belt."
Storekeeper: "Ooh, a fat sarcastic Star Trek fan. I bet you're a real cosmo with the ladies."

Originally posted by player420
This one just might be my favorite:
Comic book guy: "Yes, finally. I would like a refund for your quote unquote belt."
Storekeeper: "I see. Do you have a receipt, quote unquote sir?"
Comic book guy: "No I do not. I won it as a door prize at the Star Trek convnetion, although I find their choice of prize highly illogical, as the average Trekker h ...[text shortened]... torekeeper: "Ooh, a fat sarcastic Star Trek fan. I bet you're a real cosmo with the ladies."

Marge: "Aren't you going to perform last rites?"
Reverend Lovejoy: "That's Catholic, Marge. You might as well ask me to do a voodoo dance."
...
Rev. Lovejoy (to priest): "Nice Dress"
Irish Catholic Priest: "Ah, go home and have sex with your wife."
Rev. Lovejoy: "That's it; bring it on!"