Jokes

@moonbus said
A MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.

In light of your failure to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA, and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II w ...[text shortened]... biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.

God Save the Queen!

In fairness, the Americans have (finally) got their heads around real beer (that isn't Guinness) recently and have quite an industry.

Technically not a joke, but well, I'd copy and paste the article but the auto-mod-bod would flid out.

https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/kate-wears-ordinary-dress-that-cost-two-fking-grand-20190516185671?fbclid=IwAR1TsL-oUp1SF8g67a0zIYqVPIGqFlL6rL49LtdgXIJEOJZr8j6VPKjkDYk

How many Oxford Dons does it take to change a light bulb?

Change?

@deepthought said
In fairness, the Americans have (finally) got their heads around real beer (that isn't Guinness) recently and have quite an industry.

I like Sam Adams and Anchor Steam. Coors ("It's The Water" ) is piss-poor.

Don't worry about old age...it doesn't last long.
In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now that the world is weird, people take Prozac to make it normal.

@great-big-stees said
Don't worry about old age...it doesn't last long.
In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now that the world is weird, people take Prozac to make it normal.

LOL....I liked that one!

-VR

@very-rusty said
Horse walks into a bar.

Bar tender says, why the long face?

-VR

is that the best you can come up with?

@lemondrop said
is that the best you can come up with?

Better than your snide remark! 😛

-VR

@very-rusty said
Better than your snide remark! 😛

-VR

you haven't heard the punchline yet

@lemondrop said
you haven't heard the punchline yet

Probably because there isn't one! 😛

-VR

@lemondrop said
is that the best you can come up with?

This is the jokes thread, pleas post jokes…

Here is one:

Says Tom to his priest: I have a Problem
yes, what is it?
I want to live forever
So marry
then I will live forever?
No, but you cease to wish you would...

@petewxyz said
I should hope it's breakfast, dinner and tea where tea is the last meal of the three Mr Badger.

Breakfast, Brunch, lunch, Tea time, High tea, Dinner & Fish Supper

@badradger said
Breakfast, Brunch, lunch, Tea time, High tea & Dinner phillistine

So when can you eat a Fish Supper?

@petewxyz said
So when can you eat a Fish Supper?

happy now

Please add a joke to your Posts

Two Atoms meet says one: "I lost an electron. "
Replies the other "stay positive"