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so you've got a big nose and you don't wanna wear a mask?
no excuse!
i mean, i still wear underwear


an aquarium is a submarine for fish


I waited all night to see the sun rise.

And then it dawned on me....


@Scotty70
I couldn't work out why the football appeared to be getting bigger, then it hit me.


A hotel guest in Hong Kong comes down to reception to make a few requests about the room he has just checked in to.

"The mini bar is empty. I'd like it filled."

"Very good, sir."

"I can't seem to adjust the air conditioning".

"Of course. We'll send a technician up."

"Could I arrange it so that no calls are put through to the room?"

"Right you are."

"And I'd like the porn disabled."

"All our porn is just regular porn, you creep!"


wooden leggs for sale.....they make excelant stocking fillers


@fmf said
A hotel guest in Hong Kong comes down to reception to make a few requests about the room he has just checked in to.

"The mini bar is empty. I'd like it filled."

"Very good, sir."

"I can't seem to adjust the air conditioning".

"Of course. We'll send a technician up."

"Could I arrange it so that no calls are put through to the room?"

"Right you are."

"And I'd like the porn disabled."

"All our porn is just regular porn, you creep!"
16th of April 2016 (about page 3) and yes I noticed that this is in KongKong, the other in Japan, but I don't understand the subtle difference in humour.. 🙁

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. “No, I'm travelling light.”


@ponderable said
16th of April 2016 (about page 3) and yes I noticed that this is in KongKong, the other in Japan, but I don't understand the subtle difference in humour..
Not only are Japan and Hong Kong very different but the joke has matured with age too.


What did one cheese say to the other during philosophy class?
“I dis a brie.”


@Ponderable
What do you call a guitar player without a girlfriend?



Homeless......


outright thievery from the net

[French revolution]
executioner: any last words?
me: mercy-
executioner: weird
me: what?
executioner: you're like the fifth prisoner to thank me today lmao


Oh jokes thread....I got one rookie!

That is it, just rookie! 😉

-VR


What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.


a vegan said to me that people who sell meat are disgusting

i said people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer


@rookie54
Can I tell you a vegan joke?
I promise it won't be cheesy.

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