1. SubscriberGhost of a Duke
    Hero of the Masses
    London
    Joined
    14 Mar '15
    Moves
    22412
    05 Jan '21 13:06
    My wife told me I was acting immature.

    I told her to get out of my fort.
  2. Subscriberrookie54
    free tazer tickles..
    wildly content...
    Joined
    09 Mar '08
    Moves
    168513
    08 Jan '21 02:59
    trump read off that teleprompter with all the sincerity of a teenager forced to apologize for leaving a flaming bag of dog soup on his neighbor's porch
  3. SubscriberGhost of a Duke
    Hero of the Masses
    London
    Joined
    14 Mar '15
    Moves
    22412
    08 Jan '21 08:40
    What does Charles Dickens keep in his spice rack?

    The best of thymes, the worst of thymes.
  4. SubscriberPonderable
    chemist
    Linkenheim
    Joined
    22 Apr '05
    Moves
    577259
    11 Jan '21 15:27
    I switched all the labels on my wife spice rack. I’m not in trouble yet....
    but the thyme is cumin.
  5. Subscriberrookie54
    free tazer tickles..
    wildly content...
    Joined
    09 Mar '08
    Moves
    168513
    14 Jan '21 18:45
    my toothbrush changes color when it's time for me to buy another

    my underwear does this too
  6. SubscriberGhost of a Duke
    Hero of the Masses
    London
    Joined
    14 Mar '15
    Moves
    22412
    15 Jan '21 08:48
    Will glass coffins be a success?

    Remains to be seen.
  7. Subscriberrookie54
    free tazer tickles..
    wildly content...
    Joined
    09 Mar '08
    Moves
    168513
    16 Jan '21 03:41
    the nra filed for bankruptcy
    schools been closed WAY too long
  8. SubscriberEarl of Trumps
    Pawn Whisperer
    My Kingdom fora Pawn
    Joined
    09 Jan '19
    Moves
    7925
    16 Jan '21 04:39
    Flo: My boyfriend will be away for 6 months

    Roz: What's he doing?

    Flo: 6 months
  9. Gothenburg
    Joined
    11 Mar '16
    Moves
    16952
    16 Jan '21 08:26

    Removed by poster

  10. SubscriberPonderable
    chemist
    Linkenheim
    Joined
    22 Apr '05
    Moves
    577259
    20 Jan '21 10:38
    Why did the camera flash go to jail?
    It was charged with battery.
  11. Subscriberrookie54
    free tazer tickles..
    wildly content...
    Joined
    09 Mar '08
    Moves
    168513
    23 Jan '21 01:09
    A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate.
    The noun declines.

    shamelessly stolen
    still don't get it
  12. Standard memberyo its me
    watch the acid...
    dosen't get you!!
    Joined
    14 Jan '07
    Moves
    59848
    28 Jan '21 21:271 edit
    As I get older I remember all the people I've lost along the way.

    Maybe tour guide wasn't the best career choice for me.
  13. Joined
    18 Jan '07
    Moves
    9062
    29 Jan '21 00:46
    @rookie54 said
    shamelessly stolen
    still don't get it
    Don't worry. The rest of us do, and appreciate it.
  14. SubscriberPianoman1
    Nil desperandum
    Seedy piano bar
    Joined
    09 May '08
    Moves
    226687
    31 Jan '21 12:45
    Swans sing before they die. “‘Twere no bad thing,” wrote Coleridge, ”if some people die before they sing”.
  15. Subscriberrookie54
    free tazer tickles..
    wildly content...
    Joined
    09 Mar '08
    Moves
    168513
    02 Feb '21 20:44
    some folks are like a slinky
    they serve no purpose but to make you smile when you push them down the stairs
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