Jokes

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My Martian air-conditioner didn't want to get fixed, because then it couldn't have babies.

After securing a promotion to shop manager at the butter factory, Bobby gave himself a pat on the back.

I submitted ten puns into a competition hoping to win it. No pun in ten did.😢

I gave up my seat for an old lady on the bus and as a result lost my job as a bus driver.

“I’m not old; I’m just young at heart and slightly older in other places.”

A group of nuns is painting their convent on a hot summer day. Mother Superior tells them to hurry up and finish because the blind man is coming. The nuns get so hot from working in the heat that one suggests they take their tops off to cool down. Another says, 'OK, I guess it’s just a blind man that’s coming.' The blind man arrives and says, 'Nice tits. Where do you want the blinds?'

Imagine a world where Youtube, Twitter and Facebook merged into one and became, 'You Twit face.'

Wife: I can't believe you went to a prostitute to have sex!

Husband: What did you expect? We haven't done anything for months...

Wife: Well, you could have told me you were willing to pay.

Sign in front of a church
“To whoever stole our air conditioners…keep one, you’re going to need it”.🤔😲

Adam and Eve were the first to, “NOT” read, the Apple user guide.😲

Not really a joke but…
I just noted on my profile that there is a notation at the bottom of it saying, “ No tournament wins yet”. Now I am a glass half full kinda guy but after 21+ years of playing here that may just be a wee bit over optimistic.😲😁

@Great-Big-Stees said
Not really a joke but…
I just noted on my profile that there is a notation at the bottom of it saying, “ No tournament wins yet”. Now I am a glass half full kinda guy but after 21+ years of playing here that may just be a wee bit over optimistic.😲😁

Have a strange condition where I keep making airport puns.

Thankfully it isn't terminal.

@Ghost-of-a-Duke said
Have a strange condition where I keep making airport puns.

Thankfully it isn't terminal.