Go back
Jokes

Jokes

General


If anyone wants a list of my favourite Bugs Bunny quotes, I'll send them to you in a WhatsApp doc.


@Ghost-of-a-Duke said
If anyone wants a list of my favourite Bugs Bunny quotes, I'll send them to you in a WhatsApp doc.
Nope.


@Arkturos said
Nope.
Way to miss the punchline.

1 edit

The modern day Major League baseball record for a player being hit by a ball is 285 times, held by Craig Biggio

Who holds the record for being hit by a ball in the face the most times??

Press here for surprise answer ---->

Cary Grant 🙂


Last night, I accidentally swallowed the cat's medication. Don't ask meow.

3 edits

@Ghost-of-a-Duke said
Way to miss the punchline.
Whatever, Lord Pompoux. It's a poor joke that doesn't get a larf -- wouldn't you agree?


@Ghost-of-a-Duke said
Way to miss the punchline.
I thought you had outgrown pouting.


@AlanTal said
Last night, I accidentally swallowed the cat's medication. Don't ask meow.
Love it.
Here's an either sillier cat joke that my kids moan at whenever I tell it.

An Englishman and a Frenchman are bragging about what great swimmers their
cats are (yeah cats love water!) So they decide to have a race across the Channel.
Now as unbelievable as it may seem (this IS a true story btw) the English cat was
called One-two-three and the French cat was called Un-deux-trois. So they raced
them across the channel and of course the English cat won. Because .........................



the Un-deux-trois cat sank


I'm not sure what shocked my postman more, the fact that I came to the door completely naked, or that I knew where he lived.


I'm entering the World's Tightest Hat contest once more. I hope I can pull it off this time.


If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you’d be in Seine.

Vote Up
Vote Down

@AlanTal said
I'm entering the World's Tightest Hat contest once more. I hope I can pull it off this time.
Are these Tim Vine jokes????


I told my wife that her underwear was way too tight and very revealing.
She told me if that was the case I should wear my own.


My grandad has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from London zoo.

1 edit

How can you spot a blind man at a nude beach? It's not hard.
-----------------------

A man went to see a lady of the night. The next day, he found out that he had crabs. So he went to her and complained.
To which she said, "For $5, what did you expect, lobsters?"

Cookies help us deliver our Services. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. Learn More.