Jokes

I queried just why this guy was wearing several slices of bread on his head. Apparently, his doctor had recommended a loaf hat diet.

texas builds a rocket
scientists ask, where you guys going?
texas says, we're going to the sun
scientists say, idiots! you'll be incinerated!
texas says, we goin at night

I once got a Golden Retriever. Unfortunately after 6 months I had to return it back to the previous owner, because it had not retrieved any gold at all...

@Paul-Martin said
I saw this guy busking in Sydney with a didgeridoo, he was playing "Mama Mia"

I thought that's Abbariginal.

That's the last time I order a pelican curry. Although delicious, the bill was huge.

@Ghost-of-a-Duke said
That's the last time I order a pelican curry. Although delicious, the bill was huge.

So I chose that Madonna classic


Poppadom Preach

Don't you hate it when you're picking up your luggage from the carousel at the airport and everyone else's luggage is way better than yours?

It's the worst case scenario.

There's been a spate of car thefts from the local multi-storey car park.

That's wrong on so many levels.

@Paul-Martin said
I've decided to sell my old vacuum cleaner.

... it was just collecting dust.

My wife is a Sex Object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects.
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I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was five.
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They laughed at my crayon drawing. I laughed at their chalk outline.

A priest, a pastor and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood. The nurse asked the rabbit: “what’s your blood type?”

“I’m probably a type O”, said the rabbit.

Yesterday I read an article about the dangers of alcohol.
It scared the hell out of me, so I've decided that from now on, I'm never, ever reading it again.

Lock your dog in the trunk/boot of your car; come back 2 hours later and let him out.

Lock your wife in the trunk/boot of your car; come back 2 hours later and let her out.


Which one is happy to see you ?

@moonbus said
Lock your dog in the trunk/boot of your car; come back 2 hours later and let him out.

Lock your wife in the trunk/boot of your car; come back 2 hours later and let her out.


Which one is happy to see you ?