Jokes

When the waiter boasted they served breakfast at any time. I asked for a bacon sandwich, during the Industrial Revolution.

@Ghost-of-a-Duke said
When the waiter boasted they served breakfast at any time. I asked for a bacon sandwich, during the Industrial Revolution.

@moonbus said
I’ll have waffles in the Renaissance.

Before my uncle died, we had his back covered with goose fat.
He went downhill fast after that.

What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?
A holly davidson

A turkey was about to cross the road.

"Don't do it!" shouted the chicken. "You'll never hear the end of it."

My wife threw a box of Omega 3 capsules at me. I received super fish oil injuries.

@AlanTal said
My wife threw a box of Omega 3 capsules at me. I received super fish oil injuries.

a doctor had his Rx pad stolen
next day he gets a call from the pharmacy about a suspicious script
"mofine - i pound - to go"

he has it framed on his wall

i'm gonna quit drinking coffee for good this time
and begin to drink coffee for evil

gonna buy a time machine next sunday because they just don't make them like they're going to

If one door closes and another one opens, your house is haunted dude, and you need to run.

if i ever catch rabies
you on my bitin' list