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We've got a new car for the mother-in-law. The Government scrappage scheme is just fantastic.

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I really like Bigfoot. He is sometimes confused with Sasquatch, Yeti never complains.

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I was going to cook alligator for dinner...but realized I only had a crockpot.😢

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@Great-Big-Stees said
I was going to cook alligator for dinner...but realized I only had a crockpot.😢
I appreciate your joke while still despising the other guy.

I'm really more of a southern Michigander, btw.

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@Ghost-of-a-Duke said
I really like Bigfoot. He is sometimes confused with Sasquatch, Yeti never complains.
The nerve of you to make a joke like that while we are dealing with Heavyfoot over here.

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@Ghost-of-a-Duke said
I really like Bigfoot. He is sometimes confused with Sasquatch, Yeti never complains.
Let's not forget that my ancestors dared to cross the Atlantic (for good reason!) and yours didn't.

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Please post a joke with any comment you need to make.

Obligatory joke:


What’s always a useful comment when someone pulls a knife on you?
I see your point

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What kind of food do whales like to serve at cocktail parties?
Sharkuterie.🤔👍😁

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GARAGE SALE! GARAGE SALE! GARAGE SALE!

i have for sale five (5) slightly used but still serviceable nobel peace prizes!!!

i will NOT entertain lowball offers
the price for each is yer *immortal* soul

step right up!
step right up!

*yer choice of adjective*

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no!
you may not have any greenland until you've finished all yer venezuela

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two sturdy lads walking down the street sharing a box of donuts
the sweetest matching outfits! 😍
i told them they looked so adorable 😍

then they arrested me and now i need bail money



send lawyers guns and money

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I've quit running that dating agency for chickens.

It was a struggle to make hens meet.

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Dave arrives at the Pearly Gates and is met by St Peter who checks his life record.

St Peter: Dave you seem to have done an equal number of good deeds as evil deeds. You need to have at least one extra good deed in order to gain entry to heaven; can you think of one?

Dave: Actually yes; I saw an elderly lady getting mugged by a bunch of burly lads and I steamed in to rescue her. I grabbed the biggest lad by the ear and ripped his earring out saying “if you want to mess with old lady then you’ll have to deal with me first”.

St. Peter: Wow that is a good and brave deed, you can come in. By the way Dave when did you do this?

Dave: About three minutes ago.