Jokes

@AlanTal said
My local bookshop currently has a third off all titles. I've recently purchased a nice copy of 'The Lion, the Witch and'

I woke suddenly at midnight to find Gloria Gaynor in my bedroom.

First I was afraid, I was petrified.

How one typo can ruin your life …

I texted my wife saying "I'm having a great time. I wish you were her”

@moonbus said
Yeah, I tried to get through Jean-Paul Sartre's Being &

but only got half way.

@AlanTal said
I know the feeling. I purchased 'All About Sellotape' but couldn't find the beginning.

I plan to live forever…or die trying.🤔😲😁

@Great-Big-Stees said
I plan to live forever…or die trying.🤔😲😁

today i learned that the guy who invented the ferris wheel never knew the guy who invented the carousel

they traveled in different circles

A chap was shot 247 times yesterday by an upholstery gun.

He's now fully recovered.

A man goes to a funeral and asks the widow, "Mind if I say a word?"

She says, "Please do."

The man clears his throat and says, "Bargain."

The widow says, "Thank you for that. It means a great deal."

every technologically advanced telescope that humans have built for studying the cosmos is designed with mirrors involved to enhance the images we see

thus, there is really no way, not yet!, of determining how many vampires there are throughout the universe

My sewing teacher just said I'm the worst student she's ever had!

Damn ... wrong thread.

How much does Sean Connery like herbs?

Only partially.

@orangutan said
How much does Sean Connery like herbs?

Only partially.

@Ghost-of-a-Duke said
Keep them cumin.