2. You think things can really all be free. It's magic.
3. You moved to Texas from California to get away from the insane taxes, and then turn around and vote for the same types of politicians.
4. You really believe Obama earned his Nobel Peace prize.
5. Everyone that disagrees with y ...[text shortened]... k to her country but Omar can say Jews control the US government with their "Benjamins" and it's OK.
The real joke is where you get your cut and paste material.
The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.
The engineer sees a glass that is twice the size it needs to be.
The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.
The engineer sees a glass that is twice the size it needs to be.
A socialist sees a glass and is a never ending quest to come up with a way to divide the glass and divide it up, but giving themselves most of the glass.
@whodeysaid A socialist sees a glass and is a never ending quest to come up with a way to divide the glass and divide it up, but giving themselves most of the glass.
Then when it is empty looking for some poor schmuck to refill it for them.
The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.
The engineer sees a glass that is twice the size it needs to be.
The Astronomer's creed: If it radiates, measure it. If it doesn't, ask it for money.....
A heavy drinker was confronted by his wife as he was set to go out to meet his friends down the pub.
"If you come home so drunk you are covered in your own vomit again, I'm going to divorce you," she warned him.
Later down the pub, he got so drunk that he threw up all over himself.
He told his friend: "If I go home like this, my wife will leave me."
His friend said: "Tell you what. Go home and tell her someone threw up over you. And put a 20 pound note in your inside jacket pocket and show it to her and say the guy who threw up on me gave me this for the dry cleaning bill."
So he arrived home covered in vomit, and his wife said: "No! No! No. No. That's it. We're done."
But he explained to her: "Someone threw up over me and, look, he gave me 20 pounds for the dry cleaning bill."
"Why have you got TWO 20 pound notes in your hand?" she asked.
"Oh, the other one is from the man who shat in my pants."
Jokes
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