From the episode when Homer is the beerbaron. The man who's trying to find the beerbaron (I forgot his name) is looking out over Springfield and says:
I'll get you somehow, beerbaron. And then you hear Homer from somewhere in the town: no you won't.
It's probably funnier when you see it, then when you read it.
Originally posted by haarlemFrom the same episode, Homer and Bart are hiding beer in bowling balls, Homer's been bowling gutter balls because the balls (with corks in them) have been rolling down into an elaborate pipe trail leading to Moe's tavern. Inside the balls is beer.
From the episode when Homer is the beerbaron. The man who's trying to find the beerbaron (I forgot his name) is looking out over Springfield and says:
I'll get you somehow, beerbaron. And then you hear Homer from somewhere in the town: no you won't.
It's probably funnier when you see it, then when you read it.
Bart: [sneakishly insincere] "Another gutter ball. Gee, Homer, you
sure do suck tonight!"
Homer: "Yeah. Suck like a fox!" [laughs with Bart]
🙄
Originally posted by PhlabibitSame epsiode, Homer trying to get the parking-thingy of his car (actually this episode takes place in New York, the car is parked between the World Trade Center buildings :'(:'( )
Homer in Capital City waiting for someone to get the parking-boot off his car.
Homer: "Can I get something to drink with that?"
Vender "We have Mountain Dew and Crab Juice."
Homer: "Eww! Give me a Crab Juice"
(drinks about 12 of them!)
Pleasant Female Voice: "Thank you for calling the Parking Violations Bureau. To plead 'Not Guilty' press one now. "
(Homer presses one)
Pleasant Female Voice: "Thank You. Your call has been... "
Gruff Male Voice: "Rejected. "
Pleasant Female Voice: "You will be assessed the full fine, plus a small... "
Gruff Male Voice: "Large lateness penalty. "
Pleasant Female Voice: "Please wait by your vehicle between the hours of nine A.M. and five P.M. for Parking Officer Steve... "
Gruff Male Voice: "Grabowski."
Helen Lovejoy: "But we're not talking about love here. We're talking about (spells) S - E - X. In front of the C - H - I - L - D- R - E - N!"
Krusty: "Sex Cauldron?! I thought they closed that place down!"
....One more for today:
Marge: "I move we tear down this burlesque house for good! All in favor?"
Jasper: "Are they talking about the bordello?"
Grandpa Simpson: "No, the Burlesque house. Look, just raise your hand and keep your mouth shut!"😲
Originally posted by player420congrats on post number 200 in the simpsons thread 🙄🙄
Helen Lovejoy: "But we're not talking about love here. We're talking about (spells) S - E - X. In front of the C - H - I - L - D- R - E - N!"
Krusty: "Sex Cauldron?! I thought they closed that place down!"
....One more for today:
Marge: "I move we tear down this burlesque house for good! All in favor?"
Jasper: "Are they talking about the ...[text shortened]... pa Simpson: "No, the Burlesque house. Look, just raise your hand and keep your mouth shut!"😲
Homer when he changed his name to Max Power: There are three ways to things, the right way, the wrong way and the Max Power way.
Bart: isn't the Max Power way the wrong way?
Homer: yes, but faster.
From the same episode: Max Power, that's a great name
Homer: I got it of a hairdryer.
Homer: "Has anyone seen my little girl? Have you seen my little girl?"
Mr. Burns: "Shouldn't you be at work?"
Homer: "Yes, sir, Mr. Burns."
Mr. Burns: "Well, bet back to wherever it is you work, whoever you are. (drives off)."
Homer: "Has anyone seen my little girl?"
Marge: "Homer, what are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be at work?"
Homer: "I am at work. This is what I do."
Marge: "But--"
Homer: "Move along, Marge. This isn't a parking lot."
Marge: "OK, sorry. Sorry (drives off)."
lawyer: "Now don't you worry Mrs. Simpson I-Uh, oh. We've drawn Judge Snider. "
Marge "Is that bad?"
lawyer "Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog."
Marge "Oh My God! That's awful!"
lawyer: "Well, actually, replace "accidentally" with repeatedly. And replace "dog" with son."
😀😉
LOL! That's a great one!
I want to post this one, but I can't remember it word-for-word. Forgive me if it's not exact:
Mandula: "Apu doesn't have very much money."
Lawyer: "Are you sure? Because legally I am allowed to shake him by the ankles and see what falls out."
Mandula: "Now, we have eight children. Will that effect the settlement?"
Lawyer (begins laughing uncontrollably): "Possibly."
Madnula: "Apu will be so sad."
Lawyer: "I see. Who is Apu?"
Mandula: "The face of divorce is not as pretty as I thought. Perhaps I still have feelings for Apu."
Lawyer: "I see. When will you humans learn that your 'feelings,' as you call them, can stand in the way of big cash settlements?!"
Mandula: "You know, you look like the man who stole all of my families chickens..."
Lawyer (begins laughing again): "Yes, I did that a lot." (begins dancing and humming on top of the desk as Mandula backs slowly out of the office)
Kent Brockman: "Lisa Simpson is no longer Little Miss Springfield. She was stripped of her crown in a ceremony earlier today"
[footage of a goat being bottle fed plays]
Kent Brockman: "Well, that's obviously the wrong footage. Uh. But it does seem the father of the deposed beauty queen Homer Simpson filled out the pageant application incorrectly. In the area under 'do not write under this space' he wrote 'okay'. "
Homer at Moes's telling about how he loves to help people:
Homer: "...And I gave that man directions, even though I didn't know the way, 'cause that's the kind of guy I am this week."
One more for now:
Homer: Welcome to real life, Lisa. You can't fight City Hall... a.k.a. Blockoland. So don't even try.
Marge: What kind of a thing is that to tell your children?
Homer: That's always what I tell them. I told them that twice yesterday. And then again as they were going to sleep.