chuck norris

Originally posted by mochiron
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Originally posted by Bad wolf
Chuck Norris once got an erection whilst lying face down in the mud, he struck oil.

Originally posted by st00p1dfac3
You are one seriously questionable young man.

You really shouldn't talk about Chuck Norris here. He might hear you, solve all the chess puzzles in the forum, beat Akizy left-handed while face-paddling Weyerstrass with his right index-finger, then refute the game of chess itself, kick everyone's ass and then leave with all Russ's money, before donating it to a school of orphans, then burning down the school and kicking the burnt ass of every orphan inside.

Chuck Norris CAN touch MC Hammer.

Chuck Norris was once bitten by a black widow spider, after 5 days of agonising pain, the spider died.

Originally posted by Bad wolf
Chuck Norris was once bitten by a black widow spider, after 5 days of agonising pain, the spider died.

Originally posted by Zander 88
That one has already been used you fool. Chuck Norris just roundhoused your face for being stupid.

Every time someone loses to the Grob, Chuck Norris kills a kitten.

Chuck Norris can mate with knight + king vs king.

Once during a chess game, Chuck Norris promoted 9 queens.

Chuck Norris and Bobby Fischer once played a game of chess. Bobby doesn't play anymore...

Originally posted by Zander 88
Every time someone loses to the Grob, Chuck Norris kills a kitten.

Chuck Norris can mate with knight + king vs king.

Once during a chess game, Chuck Norris promoted 9 queens.

Chuck Norris and Bobby Fischer once played a game of chess. Bobby doesn't play anymore...

Originally posted by mochiron
Chuck Norris can checkmate his opponent on the first move......TWICE

I heard that Chuck Norris is so fast that he once ran around the earth and punched himself in the back of the head.

Originally posted by slappy115
I heard that Chuck Norris is so fast that he once ran around the earth and punched himself in the back of the head.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem-- it wouldn't take s*** from anybody.

Chuck Norris often donates blood. Other people's blood.

Unlike myself, the train of thought of my great predecessors can be broken more easily by extraneous distractions, such as pictures of Chuck Norris. This is not part of their environmental conditioning, but organic, part of their genetic molecular structure. The effect, in computer terms, is to overload their memory banks with thoughts of Chuck Norris to which they are programmed to respond, thereby limiting their powers of concentration. – Garry Kasparov (on his Great Predecessors)

First, how to sac my queen, then rook, then bishop, then knight, then pawns. Then I say to h3ll with it, I just want to play like Chuck Norris. – Mikhail Tal (on what he thinks about after his opponent moves)

After writing my seventh book, of My Great Predecessors, I felt compelled to write about Chuck Norris in my eighth installment. Then I realized, it was almost like writing about me, so I took credit for his deeds. – Garry Kasparov

When Kasparov forked Chuck Norris’s king and rook, Chuck Norris punched Kasparov, right in the face! I don't know anyone else who could do that, it's incredible. I was always impressed and delighted by this skill. When it looked like it was high time to start a decisive attack, Chuck Norris punched him and his opponent collapsed. - Vladimir Kramnik